Why I stopped being nice?
Being nice might extremely benefit other people because you are always acting the way they expect you to. The only benefit for you is, you hold the title of being the nice one which can boost your ego but I realized it was harmful at the end. I am not saying go the opposite way and treat everyone like trash. But somehow I have found a balanced unbalanced way to implement this.
To let go of hate
When you’re nice to people, some will take advantage of you. They know they can speak to you, whichever way they like and you won’t do anything about it. They can treat you badly and you won’t do anything. However when you do this, you develop a lot of hate. I know I used to do rewind their painful words and actions and would loath them.
To let go of self-pity
Nice people will pity themselves for the way they are treated. The old clichés, what have I ever done to them to be treated so badly? Why is the world so cold? Why are people bad? No, people are not all bad. I let everyone get away with bad behavior.
To stop cursing people
I had an evil heart but was nice on the outside. You hurt me and you would fall victim to my curses. I think they worked or maybe it was karma. So now I have stopped my evil ways because I want success in my life. I know bitterness prevents blessings.
To have a clearer mind
When you never defend yourself you’re always thinking about all the bad experiences that have happened to you, and were caused by people you never have peace of mind. You’re always overthinking and worried.
How I stopped being nice?
I started standing up for myself. In the past I was a real doormat because I thought religion expected me to be that way. If you attack me, I will answer back and not attack you.
I spoke my mind
I accepted that when words are spoken people will get their feelings hurt. I avoided being this saint who never hurts others. I don’t speak everything that goes on in my mind. But I speak more than I used to in the past.
I let go of the good person persona
I let go of trying to be this perfect person who never hurts anyone, always says the right thing, and always says positive things. Extreme positivity is not normal. It’s actually pretending that everything is fine.
I stopped caring how people viewed me
How people view me is up to them. In the past I wanted to be in everyone’s good books. In my mind I thought everyone thought I was the kindest, loving person in the world. Most people don’t care how they are viewed because there wouldn’t be any ill treatment in this world. The most important for me right now is how I view myself.
After this change I feel more at peace. Being nice is no longer a priority. It is no longer a life goal. I have other important goals in mind. It no longer consumes me. This is what freedom feels like.
